Melancholic Experiences

BY SHAMMA Alnuaimi

i. Debilitated soul

ii. Haven

iii. The Sea and the Stars.

iv. Canvas

v. Your Soul

i.

Debilitated soul

I rest my debilitated

soul against the cruel dejection

of thoughts that transformed

the beauty of the blue,

caressed

by the moonlight to a thunderous,

forsaken night sky.

The blue emits darkness

yet the stars decorate 

it with such lustre,

that once were aligned

to guide my soul to a spot

created for my weary heart.

The sky cries,

fills the streets and yet to be

beautiful gardens with undefined 

tears,

yet it nourishes every little thing

but its own soul.

Am I comparable to the sky?

I shine brightly to hide my

sentiment, don’t I?

I am glistening to enlighten your world,

Before doing so to mine.

I am filling your soul with pure rapture,

I am engraving joy in your heart,

I am making you long for my constant

Blissful radiance-why;

I am feeding off your joy,

because it is hard for my soul to find 

its own felicity between all of 

these stars, staring right through me,

since all of them are beyond my reach. 

ii.

Haven

I fell deep into the sea

of melancholy, with 

despairing memories

that made it seem convenient 

for me to drown in my own 

notions. 

There was no force of

hope surrounding me,

until I saw you.

My own haven. 

I saw you

evolve from something 

so vacant,

to a soul filled with optimism.

You shot me a look 

of affirmation, and something 

deep within my heart altered;

it was a switch of hope.

I felt my soul transform

into a vigorous form,

and as I swam back up,

I saw the sunshine

that was trapped

under my darkness. 

iii.

The Sea and the Stars.

I have received your letters,

but they are yet to be revealed

to my heart.

Exposing my heart

to such a woeful augury

of self disruption will only

bring dullness into my 

doleful universe.

My twilight,

I ask myself,

why are you so beautiful

to my eyes,

but detrimental to my heart?

I cannot help but gaze,

and yearn for your longing. 

My eyes have been deceiving me,

and they have been covering your

flaws with a shield. 

I can feel the raindrops trickling

against my lonely hands,

as I am watching the broken-hearted

sun disappear. 

I shiver as I 

watch you leave,

I reach out to you,

but I am aware that I will never

get a response.

I have received your letters,

but I chose to return them to the sea, 

because it is closer to you

than I will ever be. 

Your words have been written all over the sea,

and my tears,

which are now the stars that you see,

is the response I never had

the heart to tell you. 

iv.
Canvas

I used to be a pen

and you were my ink.

I remember when my canvas 

was plain and clear.

It had no words,

no marks, 

no heartbreaking

and destructive memories.

You marked my canvas

with such captivating fondness,

and pure endearment.

Unfortunately, 

you also marked it with gut- wrenching memories

that were slowly killing me.

Therefore,

I decided to use up all the ink I have taken from you,

I started composing more joyful events,

more invigorating reverence and ardour,

and that took such time,

and exhaustion.  

Once my canvas was filled, I tore it off and got a new one,

a one so blank, 

and so clean,

so pure,

that will only be used

by who deserves it.

v.

Your Soul

I felt the warm wind,

caress my bones as I 

stared at my heart-wrenching reflection

on the lakes’ surface.

A soul managed to embrace my broken heart without 

the use of a touch or words.

A soul managed to attract the different colors

of butterflies to rest on my

 helpless bones and disguise them from

their saddening state.

A soul managed to replace

 the darkness with a striking 

light that shined through me.

A soul shot me with an arrow of hope

through my shattered heart,

that killed the melancholia 

out of the bones of a helpful soul,

that stared at the lakes’ surface

to somehow breathe.

The lakes’ surface captured

the colors that radiated from my heart,

and it left with the memory of happiness 

I never had. 

Collage created by Arwa Al Shamsi (@arwas.space)

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The person who has composed these poems goes by the name of Shamma Alnuaimi. She is an Emirati, living in the city of Dubai. Poetry was not an interest of hers until the age of 16, where she reached a point of needing a way of expressing her thoughts, to pinpoint her feelings about life. Through poetry, she has managed to grow into a positivity enthusiast who strives to encourage, motivate, and guide others. At 20, she has gained an audience through a social platform, where she spreads words of encouragement, and to be there for whoever may need help, but cannot ask for it. Poetry is considered therapeutic and helps her carefully analyze her success, failures, concerns into words that could relate to those who feel the same way, but do not know how to heal, or feel joy. The year 2016 embarked on the beginning of a helpless writer, to a more influential poet with a healthier mindset throughout the years. 

You can find Shamma on Instagram, Twitter, or through her Tumblr.

Work edited by Rawa Majdi

Collage created by Arwa Al Shamsi