What was passion? Was it that made the soul burn so bright? Was it that made people move mountains? Was it that feeling people used to make magic happen? Was it that very fiery emotion that made people shoot for the stars?
I didn’t understand it. I felt that it had seeped out of me, out of my body through my fingertips. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a ghostly reflection of myself. That burning gaze slowly dimming into a dark abyss. I looked at my hands and how tired they felt. I looked at my expression, the leftover of windswept ash. Where did it go? The spark that ignited me, filled me with the roar of life. It was as if I was walking down a dark lane while the world outside was on fast forward.
I walked alone in this dark lane and only my thoughts accompanied me. The crowding thoughts in my head felt like a static noise and I was the only one invited to watch its movie. No one understood how I felt or what I even thought. All those people stood by the sidelines watching me with mocking disdain at how many times I fell and broke.
‘Passion,’ I whispered.
The words tingled at my mouth, sending shivers down my spine. What was passion to me? I grabbed at the iron edge of my patience, of all the will within me in desperate hope that I will change. That maybe a hint of smile, a hint of laughter will come my way.
I wrote letters to the passion I once knew. Of all the times I stood with courage against the tide and all the thunderstorms sent my way. Now I sat with the resolve that passion wasn’t a thing. That maybe passion was within me. That maybe passion was me and I was the fire that dimmed. That passion didn’t make me, I made it.
I glanced again at my reflection and saw something new. My cheeks brightened with color, and there was it. A small ember, in my eyes, telling me that I have risen from ashes and came back to burn brighter than ever.
Mariam Al Qubaisi is a 22 year old Journalism graduate and a writer. She loves to read, write and inspire people. She aspires to become a well-known Emirati journalist and author. You can find her on twitter here.